“When I was young it was all about running from the police, chasing wild women, egging houses, breaking windows, getting away, getting caught, winning fights, losing fights, making out with girls, skipping school, sneaking out at night, discovering the joys of gunpowder, friends dying, friends leaving, getting stabbed, getting shot, a brick in the head, summer camp for New York City troubled youths, leeches, outhouses, falling in love, falling out of love, first striptease show, wild women, wilder women, getting thrown out of the Boy Scouts, being a kid all alone in New York City, driving cars, smoking cigarettes, drinking beer, making money, going to night clubs and then I turned thirteen”.

“Funny how the biggest hell raisers always become police when they grow up”!

REVIEWS for "You just can't make this stuff up!"

You are a brilliant and evocative writer. Your book turned a rough day into a happy one. Keep on writing! We LOVED the “Kung Fu” chapter.

Thank you for writing "You just can’t make this stuff up!" the story of your life experiences. It was most interesting and so well written!! You are a literary genius!!! I took the liberty of sending a copy of my daughters; they loved every word!!!

THIS IS PURE GENIUS--better than Dave Barry!! My son and I had the BEST TIME reading this book! 

Your books are definitely not politically correct, but very funny and I enjoyed reading them all.

I love this book!!! I want a signed copy when you decide to move into print :):):)  

I had tears of laughter when I read the chapter “Hello Dolly”. The picture in my mind of that dude hanging by his sweaty toes pinched in the window, while you performed your "experiments of G force" is poetic justice at its best! Good one!

Really GREAT STUFF. You should be a writer or something. Oh I forgot you ARE A WRITER & truly a GIFTED ONE. Really great work. You have the art/knack of taking a childhood memory & just making it mesmerizing. GREAT JOB!

Thank you for writing this great book, can I share it with my friends?

You're amazing. You're right; you just can't make up this stuff!!!"

I loved reading  “You just can’t make this stuff up”.

Really enjoyed the “Kung Fu” chapter, tho' all of your books make really good reading! Please write more!        

I read your book of an earlier time in our lives when we were policemen.  They were the best of times, filled with excitement, worry, fear and many other adjectives. The incident in the chapter “Rookie” with Clark and the defective brakes was hilarious as I was on duty that day and found it hard to believe or maybe I didn’t. Do you remember if that occurred before or after he used an engraver to scratch his badge number on the side plate of his new Model 19 .357? 

OMG!!!!  I'm still wiping away the tears of laughter from my eyes after reading the chapter “The stakeout” about the “Serial Dumper”!!!!!   Brawhahahahahah!!!!!!  Keep 'em coming.

I know that I promised not to correct your facts, but Fritz was an English Setter Bird Dog, not a Border collie. I really enjoyed your book.  Keep them coming. 

“Thanks Bob, I had to change Fritz’s breed to avoid any potential lawsuits”.

Just published, "You can't make this stuff up!"

“If you read this book you might learn a little, but I know you will laugh a lot. You just can’t make this stuff up and besides the statute of limitations has expired on most of it by now”.

“When I was young it was all about running from the police, chasing wild women, egging houses, breaking windows, getting away, getting caught, winning fights, losing fights, making out with girls, skipping school, sneaking out at night, discovering the joys of gunpowder, friends dying, friends leaving, getting stabbed, getting shot, a brick in the head, summer camp for New York City troubled youths, leeches, outhouses, falling in love, falling out of love, first striptease show, wild women, wilder women, getting thrown out of the Boy Scouts, being a kid all alone in New York City, driving cars, smoking cigarettes, drinking beer, making money, going to night clubs and then I turned thirteen”. “Funny how the biggest hell raisers always become police when they grow up”!

 Excerpt from book: “I was on my hands and knees in the pitch black, crawling toward my partner’s voice as he struggled in the dark. The two men were fighting for possession of my partner’s gun. Feeling my way as I went, guided by frantic shouts of “shoot him, shoot him”, I finally located them by touch. Using my sense of touch my left arm grabbed all four of their legs and feet as they thrashed about on the ground. I could barely make out their shoes in the darkness. Straining my vision to the limit, I could see a shade of white. Since I knew my partner was not wearing white sneakers, I took out my revolver and held the tip of the barrel against the vague patch of white and pulled the trigger.”

“Serving as a police officer in the city of Greensboro, N.C. from 1970 to 1982, I started out as a young patrol officer and advanced through the ranks to become a robbery/homicide detective.  I had many humorous and exciting adventures during this time and I am sharing some of them for the first time. After leaving law enforcement I went on to become a real estate investor, inventor and businessman. I am now in his sixties and still married to the same beautiful lady for 45 years. I now have time to tell about the many true adventures I have had in funny game of life. I believe this collection of some of my true life experiences needs to be documented.  I thought it would be fun to share these adventures with my family and friends, but the writing process turned out to be pretty good therapy as well.  Most of these memories are funny, some are serious, some are surprising and others may be a little frightening, but all of them are entertaining and true. I have always done whatever I had to do to survive and I have had a lot of laughs along the way. I have always thought that life is just a funny game”. 

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William T. Moyer

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